No, I was just gonna check with my mates...
Bang, bang! You're dead!
Don't kiss your brother, Gemma.
Several hundred fans without tickets...
are heading to tonight's World Cup qualifier in Rotterdam.
Peter van Zundte of the Rotterdam police...
says they'll get tough if there's more trouble.
Those who behave will be welcome. Those who misbehave...
they can count on a very strict police here in Rotterdam.
We will arrest as many as possible,
and they won't come out without being fined...
Last night's violence in Amsterdam
seems to have followed a familiar and predictable pattern:
Lots of boisterous fans in bars;
incidents involving scuffles and broken glass;
police move in numbers, rapid escalation.
(speaking Serbian)
What's going on here? What's going on?
This is London Transport. We don't behave like that here.
- You don't understand, he's... - I do understand.
He's a fucking Nazi. He's a fascist. He's killed...
Sit down, please. Nice and quietly.
You sit down, nice and quiet.
You don't understand. He burned my village.
- I do understand. - His whole family was Nazis.
Thank you very much, indeed. We'll continue the journey.
It's psychedelic, isn't it?
God, Antonia Fraser is so bloody Catholic.
"Queen Ma, minus fish, plus bone. "
Not in the Telegraph, surely?
I'm afraid so.
The Queen Mother's choked, on a fishbone.
Oh, I say, there's a nice piece about you here, Pa.
"'George Thornton is one of my most loyal and trusted back benchers... '
says Prime Minister John Major. "
Hooray. Well done, George.
Well done.
Oh, Pa, I see "Private Eye" has given you an OBN...
after your little performance on last week's "Question Time".
"Oh, wouldn't the Prime Minister agree...
he really is the best Prime Minister since Disraeli?"
- I never said that. - You know he never said that.
Bye.
Portia!
Would you say I was a brown-nose?
Of course not. It's "Private Eye", a load of nonsense.
Just extremely loyal, dear. Just...
extremely loyal.
See you tonight, Grandpa. Take care.
Bye, dear.
Stop it! Come on, boys.
Get to the table, please. Breakfast's here.
Come on, boys, please.
Come on, just get... stop it!
Come on, boys. All right, I'm serious, now.
Look, you still haven't cleared the table.
- I want a chocolate egg. - Dad, why do you and Mum fight?
You made our mummy go away.
- We don't fight all the time - Yes, you do.
- That's why she went away. - Come on, boys. Please.
- Come on... - Mighty Dutch!
Mighty Dutch!
Wait... Hello?
Listen, I dumped the gear here just for a few weeks.
I just need to let things cool down a bit. Know what I mean?
- Is it safe here, or what? - Of course. It's his house.
Come on, we should go. I don't want to miss the plane.
You got any money?
- We need more. - Sorry.
Griffin? Darling?
Where've you been all night?
Your supper's in the fridge.
Do you want a sausage roll, sweetheart?
- You can have one, if you like. - No, I don't want one.
It's your dad's 50th birthday. I want you to sign his card.
You know we don't smoke in the house, Griffin.
Ma, I've got mates here.
Tell him "Happy Birthday".
Can I have a quick word in the kitchen, Mum?
Would you like something to eat, boys?
No, thanks, Mrs. Midge. We're in a bit of a rush.
We need some money, Mum.
Excuse me...
If you need money, you go upstairs, take a bath,
change your clothes, and go down to the Job Center.
- You working? - Yeah.
- I'm a bricklayer. - A bricklayer.
Show him your hands. Go on.
Look. Take a good look.
This lad's a bricklayer.
I'm a diabetic.
- Yeah, it's hereditary. - It runs in the family.
Let's get out of here.
What's your problem, eh?
Griffin...
Mighty Dutch, mighty Dutch.
England, England.
- Mighty Dutch... - Oi, oi, oi, come here.
- Mighty Dutch... - Come here.
Come here.
You're English. Never forget that.
English.
Dad!
- Really? I don't think so... - Oh, Dad!
If I no chop, my mother no go chop.
If I don't sleep, my mother no go sleep.
I never tire, sweet mother,
for this suffering you suffer for me.
- Hello, Otessa. - Hello, Pero.
Sweet mother...
Mr. Guzina, this is your income support book.
You take this book and you go to the Post Office
and you get your giro.
You understand "giro"?
Giro is food.
Giro is for your bills.
Money. State money.
You take this book, you put it in your pocket
and you keep it there.
You don't give it to your friend or your girlfriend.
You don't give this book to anyone.
This book is your life now.
You understand "life"?
Wait, wait.
L- I-F-E.
Life.
So we're still about 40 quid short.
- Coffee. - What's that?
Coffee. One coffee.
Yeah, okay, sit down. Sit.
I've fucking tapped everyone. I've done me brother,
me mum... no fucker left.
What we got here, then?
You like this?
Excuse me...
I don't understand.
You know... "life"?
Why don't you go back to where you come from?
Let's get out of here.
Sorry... You know what is this, "life"?
Oh, don't ask me, love.
I'm not a bloody philosopher, am I?
Oh.
There's yours.
Oi, excuse me!
Excuse me.
This big... man. Him.
Stop! Police!
Excuse me, is this yours?
Don't touch him. Everybody back.
Here. This belonged to him.
Don't make no difference now, does it?
Everybody back. Can you please just move back?
0-5-8, this is an emergency call.
Oh, lovely.
It's from Theo.
It's like a gift.
Gift? Nice.
- So what did you get him? - Nothing.
Well, you've got to give him something.
Morning. We've got an emergency.
Do you think you could come, please?
Coming through! Coming through!
Thank you.
(speaking Serbian)
Life.
It will be more than six months before the animals...
Katie... have you seen my red socks?
I need those red socks. You seen them?
Right, Jerry, calm down.
...have seeds that lie dormant in the parched ground.
In the savannah, predator and prey alike...
need to be on guard every minute...
Come on, Katie, Martin's waiting in the car.
- Chop-chop, lose a leg, eh? - I'm ready.
Organizer. Seen my organizer?
I sat it there last night. Where is it?
I need it, Katie. It's got all my contact numbers.
I can never leave anything down here.
Chloe, darling...
Chloe, have you seen daddy's...
Chloe, what have I told you about playing with daddy's toys?
These are expensive, darling.
Weakened by blood loss and exhausted by running...
it will collapse and be eaten alive.
Have you got the tickets and the passport?
- What is it now? - Back in a minute.
Thank you.
For he's a jolly good teacher, for he's a jolly good teacher,
for he's a jolly good teacher...
- Bye, daddy. ... and so say all of us.
Thank you very much one and all.
And now not even the happiest occasion
must stand in the way of a busy day.
Off to your classrooms.
Get in line, please. Line up, pupils.
Get in line, please. Line up.
Looks like she's done a runner again.
- What? - His wife.
Whose wife?
Mrs. Mouldy, Jerry. His wife.
Hard to raise kids on your own.
Hard to live on your own. Poor man.
Well, maybe he can give me a few tips...
when you step on a land mine or catch a Serb bullet.
Serb bullet?
I'm not gonna catch a Serb bullet.
Door.
Here we are.
- Aye, what's going on by here? - We've got you some company.
I don't want company. I want to be left on my own.
This is my ward. I want a bit of peace and quiet.
I don't want to be stuck here, having a conversation...
with Herman bloody Munster by there.
I want to be on my own, I've told you a hundred times!
We can't afford a room exclusively for your use...
and he needs our care as much as you do, Mr. Glyn...
...Dower. Mr. Glyndower.
Now piss off! Leave me alone!
What are you gawping at?
No, no, no... no joke.
There was these two fat bloody foreigners, yeah,
and they was all over each other, man.
Yeah, they was kicking and screaming, man.
It was wicked, yeah. Wicked, man.
That was conflict, man. That was war for real, man.
Heavy shit, man.
- What? - Yeah, man, wicked, respect.
You blood clot.
Give me your money. Give me your fucking money!
I'm with it, man. I'm with it.
- Go on. - Oh, shit.
Go on.
Wanker.
Oh, shit. Fucking hell.
Come on, Katie. They'll look after us out there.
- It's not that dangerous. - No, of course not.
- It isn't. - No, I said that.
No, I said it wasn't dangerous.
There's absolutely nothing to worry about, is there?
I suppose you're more likely to get killed...
by a joyrider in London than by a Bosnian sniper.
- I'm gonna be hit by a sniper? - No, I didn't say you are...
You said, "You're gonna be hit by a Bosnian sniper. "
For God's sake, Jerry, you are going to war.
Katie, people have to know what's going on there.
People don't give a shit about what's going on there.
Well, that's where you're wrong. Because people do give a shit.
And I'm gonna make sure they give a shit about what's goin' on.
How many times have we been through this? Thousands of times.
- Will you stop the car, please? - Why?
This is embarrassing for Martin.
What are you talk...?
- Katie, come back in the car. - Have a nice journey.
- Are you all right? - What?
You should see a doctor. You're a bit tense.
I should see a doctor? I'm a bit tense?
Jerry, go, before I kill you myself!
Sorry, man.
- Kate, come on. Get in the car. - No, I'll get the bus.
- Katie, get in the bloody car! - Bye!
- Look, I have to go. - Just go!
...our family is disintegrating in front of our eyes.
I can't carry on. I want a divorce.
Rupert, you can't do this to us.
Not now, not ever. What about our son, Benjamin?
- He is a junkie, Penelope. - And you're a beast!
You asked for that! Goodbye, Penelope.
I shall never see you again.
Two world wars and one world cup we won.
We're going to Europe to do the Europeans!
We're going to Holland to do the fucking Dutch!
- Tonight! - All of them!
- Quiet! - Shut your fucking mouth!
England! England!
Hello.
Open your mouth.
Say "ahhh".
No, doctor wants to look in your throat.
"Ahhh. "
You can close your mouth now. Close... Thank you.
You want to look at his chart?
Blood pressure?
- Can you manage without me? - Yeah. Thank you.
That's much better.
Great.
Now...
would you like something to eat?
Come on, you've got to eat something.
What about your telephone number?
My telephone number?
I'll get you something.
- Hello, who is it? - Helga, it's me.
Oh, it's you, Richard. What have you done now?
- Is she there? - What about Christine?
Well, I thought you knew...
It's never been my policy to interfere with my children...
I don't... Calm down, Helga.
She used to be a lovely girl before she met you.
What have you done to her? Where is she?
We had a bit of a row. Last night.
Yeah, and she sort of...
- What happened to my daughter? - She left.
- What about the boys? - The boys are...
- the boys are very worried. - The poor lads!
You see, I've been working longer hours recently...
Richard, you are a mess!
Helga? Hello? Hello?
- Good morning, Tina. - Morning.
Mrs. Had... Hadzibegovic? Please come this way.
All right, okay? I've got you.
You are pretty, Doctor.
I'm only a trainee.
Your eyes... nice.
Can't eat and talk at the same time.
You can suffocate.
I am ready to suffocate for you.
What's your name, Doctor?
Portia.
Portia... Do you have a boyfriend?
Port-cha.
No... "Por-sha. "
I have always supported the Prime Minister in this matter.
Of course, we must tighten our...
immigration policy, but if we don't,
the British taxpayer once again...
will be subsidizing foreign layabouts.
On the other hand, as the Prime Minister says,
we must try to do the decent thing...
by genuine asylum seekers.
Fiscal responsibility does not exclude compassion,
and compassion does not exclude fiscal responsibility.
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
No, no. There's too... too many soft words.
I think he struck a rather good balance.
No, it was... it was too... too pappy.
People don't want these bleeding heart platitudes.
People want a fist of iron.
People want a clear, uncompromising vision.
I'm not telling you where I am. It's none of your business.
It's over, Richard. You have made too many mistakes.
Look, I'm not saying I didn't make mistakes...
I feel abused, confused, depressed.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Richard, are you listening?
Mrs. Hadzibegovic, you should be in your room. Please.
My children are not going to stay with your mother.
- Just for once, will you listen? - Please, Dr. Mouldy...
I need a proper man to take me out.
Somewhere nice. You are a mess, Richard.
- Please... - I'm taking my children...
and don't try anything silly, because I'm going to find them.
Don't you go silent on me, you useless little pig.
I know you're there, Richard. I can hear your breathing.
I hate you... I hate you!
All right, Dzemila.
Come on.
Tell me about it. Sit down, come on.
Now what's wrong?
Dr. Mouldy...
please... No baby. No baby.
It's all right, it's all right, Dzemila.
Young mothers are often very frightened and very anxious...
when it comes to delivery. And that's natural.
- That's quite natural. - No natural. No.
No, look, you're a young, healthy woman.
I promise you, everything will be fine. Really.
Please, Dr. Mouldy... no baby.
Please.
Now... your baby... asleep. Sleep?
Umm... in your belly, yes?
Tomorrow, baby out. And everybody...
Dzemila, Ismet, Mr. Mouldy, Tina... everybody happy, yes?
No... no happy, Dr. Mouldy.
No... all right.
Dzemila...
I'm just going to get some medicine to make you feel better, yes?
I promise you, it won't hurt the baby, all right?
You stay here. Everything will be fine.
Don't look so worried, all right?
Good girl.
What is going on?
Back into bed. Yes, back into bed. Immediately, please, immediately.
Now...
if you see something wrong and you want to help,
then you call me, do you understand?
- Yeah. - You don't try and help him yourself.
- You call nurse. - Nurse.
- Yes. Good - Oi, nurse.
I want to be transferred to another ward.
It's like bloody bedlam in by here.
Dr. Mouldy...
I... I show you this...
this my... my film.
She's beautiful.
You look my... my wife... before... now.
You must kill baby.
You want me to kill your baby?
No, no my baby... No mine.
There are so many couples in this city...
who would love to have a baby like yours, and they can't.
You're really lucky.
Look, Mouldy... not, not lucky.
No my baby... no, no mine.
You must this... wrong...
wrong baby... Enemy wrong this baby.
"Wrong baby, enemy". Who? Who is the enemy?
...baby is my enemy.
They...
they does this to her... to my wife...
Many... soldiers does... wrong with her...
You must kill...
"Port-ia. "
Portia.
...he must have had an accident. Let's go and rescue him.
Come on... Come on, girl. Keep close behind me.
If a train comes along, get flat against the tunnel wall
and hold your skirts against you.
I still don't like it.
Look, come on.
Supposing that boy was caught underneath the train?
Hello?
Oh, Christ, come on.
Tim! Tom!
- Cuckoo. - Cuckoo.
Just get down, now.
Not coming down. Not coming down ever.
- Just get down. - Where's my mummy?
- Come on, boys... please. - Where's my mummy?!
Happy birthday, darling.
Make a wish.
Cheers.
Happy birthday, darling.
This is nice.
Cozy.
Just the two of us.
Yes.
- Did you say it was a film? - Yes, yes.
- So this is the third word? - Yes...
Sorry, I'm not allowed to talk.
- Right, third... - Third word.
Us... we...
Not, not me. Not me.
Little bit, little bit... "Little big you"?
Daddy...?
Oh... "men"! Little big men, "little big men"?
- Little big... - Man!
Oh, "Little Big Man"!
I'm in love.
Pero.
Pero... Guzina.
Take a jolly good suck, daddy.
Bravo.
So it's love, is it, this time?
Can't you be more specific, daughter of mine?
He's nice, he's gentle...
he's... he's just wonderful.
Still fancy it?
I'm gonna get Jim.
Holland! Wa-hey!
Fucking Holland cunts, I'll get you!
I'll get you, fuck... Cunt!
For fuck's sake!
Jim... Jim!
Fucking wake up! Fucking wake up!
Now climb! Climb!
Hello. Press enter. I like you.
That's nice. Press enter.
Tease me. Press enter. Press enter... Press enter...
I can't leave you alone for two minutes, can I?!
Is this how you're trying to help daddy?
- Is it? - I hate you!
Bathroom and bed! Upstairs! Now!
Don't go.
Very thoughtful. Thank you.
Let's hope it doesn't get smashed.
Griffin's like a lot of them these days, Roge.
He's not happy.
It's not easy growing up in this day and age.
Don't quote Esther Rantzen at me.
He's just evil, Felicity.
Remember when the teachers went on strike for a week
because nobody would teach him?
You know how humiliating that was for me?
Griffin's behavior is beyond rational explanation.
It's not environmental, obviously, and it's not genetic.
We have humane, civilized genes on both sides.
And he's the... the what?
TV: Your stand against crime... Crimeforce UK.
Flight 714 from Rotterdam to London Heathrow is now boarding.
All passengers please proceed to Gate 5.
Look, I'm not going to court...
Oh, hello, Tina.
Hang on, here she comes.
Ismet...
listen to me, Ismet... listen.
Ismet... just be... just be quiet.
No. Listen. Listen to me, Ismet.
Ismet, just sit down. Just...
Now just stop behaving like this.
Just control it. Listen... listen to me.
She mother. She decide.
Ismet, listen.
She mother. She decide.
Look.
Five seconds to the dropping zone.
Mark... two, three, four.
America...
What's this? Where am I?
(speaking Bosnian)
Who are you?
Have you been having a bit of a party?
Is that you, Lineker? Hey, Lineker, Lineker.
Hey... Lineker, Lineker.
(speaking Bosnian)
Stop. Please stop!
Please stop the truck!
I'm English! I'm English!
Stop. Listen. Look, I'm English.
Please stop the truck!
You're not listening to me. I'm English!
I'm English! I'm English!
Please stop the... Stop!
Listen! Please stop the truck!
Stop the truck! I'm English!
Please stop the truck!
What are you doing in front of a UN vehicle, asshole?!
Look, I'm sorry... I don't know where I am!
Hey, look, he's only a boy. He's only a boy, for God's sake!
Shit. Come on...
We've got to move him away from here.
Come on, Dennis!
- I don't know where I... - English!?
- Get him out of here. - He's coming with us.
Just get him out of here.
- Not in my truck! - Look, I'll take care of him!
- I'll take care of him. - I don't need this shit.
- Dutch beat us last night. - Sorry to hear that, aye.
- We failed to qualify. - Uh-huh.
- Get in the back of the van. - And then, I fell asleep in a...
Wh-where are my mates?
Come on, guys. Let's get going.
(speaking Bosnian)
What are you waiting for, sir? We've got 15 minutes to go.
We've got dead, we've got injured,
we've got women and children. Take this.
Keep your head down and your helmet on tight. Now move!
- This is war, my friend. - War? What war?
Roger?
Yes...?
Oh, yes, of course.
Heroin.
The icing on the cake.
I should have known this would be at the bottom of it.
(speaking Bosnian)
Hey, English. Cigar?
Do you have a cigar? Hello, English... Hey.
Hello, cigar, English.
Hello. Cigar, English.
(speaking Bosnian)
Well, they... they can't just cut his leg off like that.
They've got to. They've no choice.
The wound'll get infected.
They can only save him if they cut the leg off.
It's normal here.
Haven't they got any... anesthetic or anything?
You're joking, aren't you?! Have a look around!
Wait, wait. Jerry, tell him to wait.
- What? - Just tell him to wait.
Wait, wait. Wait!
What is it?
Look, I've got this. It's heroin.
Heroin?
You know, jag, jag, sleepy, sleepy, yeah?
- Heroin? - Yeah, a minute, a minute.
Give us a minute. Yeah, one minute?
I need a cigarette. Cigarette.
Can I give you a hand?
A minute, yeah? Just, just one minute.
Hurry up, they're not gonna wait.
- Tell them to wait. - Is this all right here?
- Yeah, bit lower. - How's that? A minute, yeah.
- Put it down? - Pass me a syringe.
Syringe?
- Yeah? - That's it.
Now squeeze his arm. Squeeze it there, right.
Go. Slap it. Yeah?
Right. How's that?
Shit!
Jerry, come on.
Come on!
Hello, I'm looking for my son, Griffin Midge.
I just wondered if you'd seen him, or knew where he was?
I thought there was hope.
- But there's no hope. - Good news.
I've got the pub on the other line. They said he's gone to Holland.
- Why would he go to Holland? - Because drugs are a snip over there.
Our child's days are numbered.
It doesn't take... an Einstein to work that out.
Thank you.
What's this for?
Maybe it's come off something.
What do they do with this stuff?
Do you want a sausage roll, sweetheart?
Yes, please.
- Lineker? - Mama.
Lineker, are you all right?
No children. We do not have space for them.
Go to the front truck.
Mine, mine! Mine!
Don't move!
- What mine? - Under your foot.
You're standing on it. You're gonna get us all killed.
- I'm sorry, I don't... - Take the kid. Take the kid.
- I'm sorry, I was just trying to... - Shut up, you fucker!
Ready...
Steady...
Go!
Come on, let's go. Go!
Get in the truck, goddamn son of a bitch!
This is one more thing. Come on, get the truck going!
Let's go!
- Bye. - Bye.
Bye.
My... my wife.
Right, get her out. Get her out.
Come along, madam, get in the back. Thank you.
Right, let's go.
Break...
Broke...
Broken.
Steal...
Stole...
Stolen.
Can... Can't.
Can is a special verb.
It is often used to show ability.
For example... the policeman can arrest the thief.
Can the policeman arrest me?
Good afternoon, sir.
I'm from the Immigration Service.
Do you know this woman, sir?
I'm sorry. I have never seen her.
You must have seen her. She lives next door.
Sorry.
Right. Look, um...
I wonder if you...
could give us a call if you see her around?
Do you think you could do that for us?
- Pleasure. - Thank you very much, sir.
I am glad to...
Sorry. Sorry.
- You all right? - Yeah, yeah. No bones broken.
Well, you should know.
You're Dr. Mouldy, aren't you?
Um... well...
I'm Kate... Kate Higgins.
My daughter's at school here with Tim and Tom.
Oh, yes, yes. I've...
I've... think I've seen you, um, er... here.
- Chloe. - Chloe. That's it, yes.
Chloe. Yes.
That's beautiful.
The...
- Dove. - Dove.
It's wonderful. Wonderful, um...
The atmosphere's...
- Did you... do all of these? - Most of it.
- Do you like that? - Oh, yes, yes.
That's "Cataclysm of the Heart".
Milk.
That's Jerry, my husband.
We were childhood sweethearts.
And are you still happy? Sorry.
No, no... It's a good question.
Happy?
Dunno.
It was all very exciting, at first.
He moved from radio to television, and we moved down from Glasgow.
They sent him to America a lot. To Washington.
Chloe got to know her dad on videotape.
Then the assignments changed.
Ireland, Lebanon, Israel.
I mean, Jerry would say...
there was more chance of him being killed in Washington.
That's the murder capital.
But at least he understood the language.
Now the languages are all...
they're all different... and mixed.
I worry for him. It scares me.
I can't work properly 'cause I'm just on edge the whole time.
Sometimes I think...
why don't we just start again?
Buy a croft...
and go and live in peace.
Wouldn't that be lovely, Dr. Mouldy?
Wouldn't you like to live in a croft?
Excuse me, Mr. Higgins, can you tell me exactly what happened?
- Oh, come on. - Roge, please.
- A missing button doesn't matter. - Of course it matters.
I said I'd be there half an hour ago.
I'll have you done in a second.
- Really, it doesn't, does it? - Of course it does!
- No one's gonna notice anyway. - Oh, of course they will.
Three buttons on one side and one on the other.
A NATO spokesman praised the RAF pilots...
...this flight began to bring back evidence
of the extraordinary human will to survive.
NATO is believed to be considering...
How long have you been doing this?
But "wait and see" is the policy preferred by everyone.
"How long?" Is the question, Griffin.
I am a respected man, Griffin.
I know you don't give a toss about that, but I do.
I do give a toss.
Making a fool of us all.
You'll end up... locked away somewhere, slopping out.
Your health and your brain will degenerate.
Your young heart and your lungs will putrefy.
You'll die, and then where will you be?
You may think this is a fashionable habit.
This habit is a terrible, awful, unimaginable...
"Horror"?
Is that what it is?
Griffin, are you hungry? Do you want a sausage roll?
...looking a bit lost.
I've brought you some coffee. Espresso.
Sweetheart, you've not eaten anything.
Shall I...?
Darling, what are you saying?
All my life...
All my life I've tried to be good.
What?
I saw it.
You saw it?
What? What did you see?
It.
I saw it.
IT... I saw IT.
What is it you saw?
- What...? - I saw it.
He's not getting it because I saw it.
Me. I saw it. And he's not getting any of it,
'cause I saw it first.
I don't understand what you're saying.
- What did you see? - Jerry here. Put Brian on.
I'm gonna call the doctor and get him to see you today.
Yeah, Jerry Higgins for Brian... yeah?
- Oh, sweetheart. - What? He's coming here?
I knew this would happen.
He's just not getting it!
Straight through.
You are from the doctor's, yes?
No, no, I'm Brian. Brian North.
I work with Jerry at the BBC.
He's here, yeah?
Um, yes... Jerry is here, but...
he's not actually very well today.
Katie, Katie, Katie...
- keep him away from me! - Jerry.
Old boy.
- Are you okay? - Don't you "old boy" me,
you sanctimonious... piece of shit that you are!
Look, I'm sorry about this, but I...
I really need that tape.
- What tape? - The tape in your hand, Jerry.
- That's my tape. - No, it's not, Jerry.
- It's my tape! - Doesn't belong to you, Jerry.
It's my tape.
No, it's not. It belongs to the BBC...
and I'm here to collect it.
It doesn't belong to the BBC. It belongs to me.
It's my tape. I shot it. It's mine.
- Jerry, please, stay calm. - I am calm.
- Just give me the tape. - No, it's my tape...
It's... it's mine! You're not getting it.
It's my tape. Brian, look, it's my ta...
Thank you. Jerry...
you should be really proud of this, you know.
We're gonna strip it across four nights.
It's great stuff. "The Hospital of Hell"...
or "Four Nights in the Hospital of Hell," depending.
It's absolutely the sort of thing
that's gonna suck an audience in for us.
And it's cost effective, which is great.
So you should be pleased.
Brian, Brian, Brian, you don't understand!
An audience has gotta see, it's gotta feel...
what it's really like to get your leg cut off!
- Give us the tape back. - Jerry! Please.
Take a holiday, man. Go to Hawaii or somewhere.
Just leave Bosnia to me.
- Get back here! - I'm sorry, Mrs. Higgins.
You wanna lift this up, pull it up...
and you wanna get your side of the tape, stretch it over.
And you, Ismet. Stretch it gently, that's it.
- How's the girl? - Gorgeous.
Hello... hello.
You thought of a name yet?
- What is it? - "Chaos".
Chaos? Oh... good.
Well, these are the keys...
these are the keys to my house...
and this is my number here.
That's the address for the cab, all right?
And I've got some money here, a bit of cash...
for the taxi, all right? Okay.
Well, I'll see you later. All right?
One other thing. If, er... if the telephone rings...
don't answer it. It's my wife.
Just... just don't pick it up.
All right? Okay.
Bye bye, Chaos. Bye bye.
(singing in Welsh)
Bravo, Jagger. One more.
You are English?
- Do I look English? - No, I was just asking.
I'm from Wales, the land of song...
where the women are pretty,
and the beer is cheap.
Do you know, in my village...
the local people can't afford to buy houses...
'cause they're all being bought up by the English bastards
for holiday homes.
They've taken everything from us, the English.
Our jobs, our coal...
our water... our pride.
They tried to take the language away...
but they didn't succeed.
(singing in Welsh)
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Mr. Glyndower.
Jolly good.
- Feeling better? - Yeah, much better.
Good.
Thank you.
- Well done. - Sister...
Who is... who's he?
What's he doing here?
Well, he's a Welsh fire bomber.
You know, he...
he single handedly burnt...
20 English holiday cottages to the ground.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
What's he doing in London?
I don't know. Why did you come to London?
I came to buy an incendiary device...
from a mate of mine in the army.
I suppose incendiary devices are quite hard
to get hold of in Wales.
Yeah.
Bloody thing blew up in my face.
We have a lot of bombs... in Bosnia.
We burnt our village completely...
flat.
The same village?
...everything and sheeps and everything.
He was my neighbor.
- Why? - Why?
Don't ask me. He...
- He and his family... - He started it.
- He and his family started it all. - They started...
- Are you a Serb and a Croat? - No, no, no...
It's totally different. I'm a Croat and he is Serb...
- and they burned our village. - They started it.
They killed our sheep.
Do you know what's amazing? Do you know what's extraordinary?
You both have exactly the same size feet.
Isn't that...
isn't that extraordinary?
Look.
Exactly the same.
Cuckoo...
Cuckoo!
Tim, Tom...
- You all right, are you? - Yeah, just a bit dirty.
- Where's mum? - Chloe...
- Hello, Dr. Mouldy. - Hello.
Her mother didn't turn up today.
- And her father's gone mad! - Come on, Chloe.
- Thank you, Dr. Mouldy. - Come on, everybody.
Have you got everything? It's all right.
- You forgot it. - Here we go. Come on.
Dad, where are we going? Dad...
Come on, quickly.
In you go.
- What are we doing, Dad? - Just get in.
Just get into the house. Go on. Quickly.
Through to the back room. Quickly.
Come on.
Richard... Richard, let me in.
You are not taking them!
They're mine as much as yours. Give me my boys.
- Why are you doing this? - Give me my boys!
- Why are you doing this? - You're a mess.
- Let us out! - Tim, Tommy...
Come here. Get off the door!
- Hello, Mum. - Come here, that's it.
- Are you gonna come with me? - Yeah, yeah.
Thank you. Come on, come on.
Get in the car. Quick, quick, quick.
You're welcome to it. It's yours.
Come on. Quick...
...the BBC have failed to re-establish contact
with war correspondent, Jerry Higgins.
Since his dramatic return on a UN mercy flight from Bosnia...
Jerry Higgins has been recovering at his home in London.
For the last two years, Mr. Higgins...
has been successfully reporting for the BBC
from trouble spots around the world.
Mr. Higgins, seen here in action
reporting from a field hospital in Srebrenica,
was injured by sniper fire
and evacuated on an RAF transport plane.
Mr. Higgins is thought to believe
that internal restructuring in the BBC has contributed
to an escalation of the crisis in the Balkans.
Brian North reads Jerry Higgins' dispatch from Srebrenica.
You might find some of the pictures disturbing.
As dawn swirls, the Bosnian valley echoes
to the sound of UN lorries.
The BBC was the first TV network
to enter the besieged field hospital.
They've asked me to do some charity work.
- Charity work? You? - Yeah. Why not?
I can't get a job...
and I've got plenty of free time, so...
I thought I could do something positive.
...we encountered Red Cross mercy worker, Griffin Midge,
an Englishman sacrificing his own life...
to help those less fortunate.
He alone managed to pass through Serb checkpoints
and smuggle in much needed drugs.
And so, as these dispossessed people run for their lives...
There's someone I think you should meet.
...with the flames that torched their homes still smoldering,
we say goodbye...
and good luck to those less fortunate left behind.
And left...
and right.
Good. Left...
and right...
See if you can make it right up to here.
I'm in a bit of trouble.
I've got this left leg with toes on it. I need help.
Yes?
It's not the pain, I can take pain. It's...
I was in Bosnia, and I got injured, okay?
Unfortunately, the bullet went straight through,
and it missed the main bone, so they didn't have to operate.
The problem is now, the doctors say
in a couple of days my leg's gonna be fine,
and I won't need the crutches anymore.
That's good. What do you want from me?
I want you to amputate.
You don't need to use anesthetics or pain killers or anything,
Cut it off from below the knee, eh?
A clean cut.
Just... wait there.
Okay.
- All right? - Just about.
Get your hands off me!
You selfish, heartless scumbag that you are!
Have you no humanity in you?
I hope your cat gets hit by shrapnel...
your wife runs away with another man.
I hope...
I hope that your mother and father end up in a UN safe haven.
Two-legged piece of shit that you are.
Will he be able to see again?
He's such a nice lad.
Saved.
Yeah, saved.
Not you, him.
You'll be saved when you get a job.
You're a hero, son.
You're everything that a hero should be.
Mum...
Hello?
- It smells absolutely yummy. - It is a bit of a classic.
Wild venison with roasted parsnip chips.
I'm not going to eat a deer. It's barbaric.
I've made you some extra chips so you will remain unsullied.
None of us will eat anything until your young man gets here.
He really is awfully late, darling.
Hello?
Pero? What are you doing?
Hello.
This is Pero.
Hello... oh, how lovely. Thank you so much.
Thank you very much for you hostility.
It's my pleasure. Do come in.
Nice from you... What marvelous occasion.
Well, thank you.
This is my grandpa.
How do you do?
Shall I butle?
Absolutely. I think we all deserve a drink.
- Well... how nice to see you. - Yes.
These are lovely. Thank you so much.
I love... the wine.
Cheers.
George darling, could you pass me some more gravy?
Of course, darling.
Edward, this is really very good. More gravy, darling?
No, thanks.
Well done, Edward.
Thank you.
Daddy, would you like some more gravy?
No, no thank you.
Pero, I forgot to ask. Would you like some more gravy?
No, thanks.
Portia, darling? No?
Peero, you don't mind eating wild deer, hm?
I can eat anything. I do like wild queerels.
Squirrels.
You have lots of squirrels in your country?
Yes, plenty. Delicious... queerels.
In my country you can eat animals plenty. No problem.
- More gravy, Pero? - Okay.
- Peero, you know... - It's Pero.
Sorry... Pero...
I am personally very much against ethnic cleansing.
Ah-hem...
Pero... are you religious?
What do you actually do, Pero? What's your job?
- He's a basketball player. - Basketball?
Don't suppose there's much demand for your skills at the moment?
- Skill? - Skill.
Capability. Dexterity?
Virtuosity?
Never mind, Pero. Have some more deer.
Apple tart is on the way.
I go... toilet.
- What did you say? - I go to toilet.
Ah, yes, I see... yes.
Word of advice.
In this country, when we leave the table,
we don't say, "I go toilet", we say, "Excuse me".
In this country, when we leave the table,
we say... "Fuck off!"
Well, that clears up any doubts we might have had.
You can pass the wine, could you, Portia?
I'm not gonna sit here and let you patronize him
- just because he's not one of us. - Portia, do shut up.
- Fascist. - Anarchist.
I wonder if this is what the Prime Minister means
by "Family Values". Look at you.
I think he's very... foreign. Very evocative.
Exotic.
I think he's a peasant.
I'm sorry.
(classical music on piano)
I don't believe it...
Excuse me.
As I said, the boy is exotic.
Excuse me, sir...
you can't sleep there, sir. Come on, mate.
There you go.
Come on, mate.
If everybody went around sleeping on the tracks,
we wouldn't have a railroad, would we, sir?
I don't see what harm I'm doing British Rail.
You might scare the driver, sir.
Have you ever seen a scared train driver?
- Where are you from? - I'm from Cyprus.
Oi, nurse!
Nurse! Come here! Nurse!
Stop! Gentlemen, stop! Stop this!
Stop it at once!
Stop it!
- Get back into bed. - Fascist.
- What?
- He is fascist. His whole family... - Are you a fascist?
- No, I'm not. - He's not a fascist.
All right? Lie down.
You are here to heal.
So start healing.
Flower.
This is grass.
And that's a hose pipe.
For watering grass.
"Hose pipe"?
This is swings. You play on them.
You swing on them, and play.
That's a snail... or was a snail.
- Bye, Dr. Mouldy. - Bye, Chloe.
Have a good day.
Tim, Tom!
- Hi, Dad. Hi, Ismet. - No kiss for Daddy? You horrors.
Hi, Daddum. Can Ismet come see Mum?
It's okay, isn't it? Come on, Ismet.
Nice to see you, boys.
It's a bit messy. I like it.
"If I no sleep, my mother no go sleep. "
"If I no chop, my mother no go chop. "
- Hello, Pero. - Hello, Otessa.
Who's this?
- This is my goldfish. - Hello.
Is this your country?
This is my former town.
Who's that?
My father, Zika,
My mother, Kika.
- This one? - My sister, Seka.
My brother, Zoka.
My former me.
Why is everything in your life, "former"?
Because I'm from former Yugoslavia.
We don't have anything else. We are all former.
- What about me? - You are my future.
(in Bosnian) Oh, hell, here we come!
So, you came back,
you were unhappy with the British response to the war,
and you decided to amputate your leg...
No, no, no, that's not it. I injured my leg...
You told this to your wife, then to your BBC boss.
They cut off a man's leg in front of my eyes.
No anesthetic, no pain killers, nothing.
A clean cut. Whack.
His leg popped off his body like a wine cork.
A UN soldier treated my leg immediately.
Then you smuggled yourself into a London hospital
and threatened the nurse that you would kill her
- unless she amputated your leg. - Yes.
Jerry.
Terrible, isn't it?
He's suffering from "Bosnia Syndrome".
Don't worry, it's not as bad as "Gulf War Syndrome".
This one is curable.
What is "Bosnia Syndrome"? I've never heard of it.
It's an obsession with helping people. Doing good.
You identify with the victim to the extent
that you see the world through the victim's eyes.
In severe cases,
the distinction becomes so blurred,
that you become the victim, and the victim becomes you.
Pero, do you have a dream?
I do have a dream.
I would like to have safe journey to Mars.
What about the moon?
I take you. Wherever I go, I'll take you.
Are we gonna go to the moon, or are we gonna go to Mars?
Listen...
I want my children!
Where are my children?
Look.
Pero, look!
I know.
What are they doing?
Deportation. Every day is like this here.
What do you mean? Immigration?
Today is her...
Tomorrow?
- Today is her. - Yeah? Tomorrow?
We're Tottenham Hotspur.
Tottenham Hotspur FC...
are by far the greatest team
the world has ever seen.
Come on, Terry. I'm dying of thirst.
Get us a pint, mate.
Yeah, all right.
Oi, oi. Look who's here.
All right?
Yeah, all right. No problem.
How's the family?
Mrs. Midge?
Yeah, all right. They send their love.
It's wonderful, isn't it?
It's fucking great, isn't it?
Leave it, Jim. I just came to watch the football with the kid.
You got big.
Have you done your weekly shopping?
You peeled the potatoes?
Chopped the onions? 'Course you did.
Lineker...?
It's okay, Lineker. I'm here.
It's all right.
Tot-tenham.
Come on. Let's go home.
You're in my control...
Obey me.
Winter is past. Flowers appear on the earth,
and the time of the singing birds has come.
The leg stays. Bosnia goes.
Say it.
"The leg stays. Bosnia goes. "
My leg appears each passing day,
to be more pleasing in every way.
"My leg appears each passing day...
to be more pleasing in every way. "
Welcome, Jerry.
Hello, sweetheart.
How are you feeling?
Yeah...
Good.
I'm gonna resign from the BBC.
I've gotta be free, Kate.
"The world appears each passing day...
to be more pleasing in every way. "
That will be 265 pounds, please.
Smile.
What's the matter with you? You look like death.
Nothing. I'm fine. I am. Really.
Well, cheer up, for heaven's sake.
Whoops! Oh, dear.
Oh, my goodness! What happened?
It's all right. He's just a bit tired.
- What? - It's all right, Mum.
Just gonna put him on the settee.
There you go. Just lie there.
Come in.
Wait a minute. Now, what's happening?
Evening, Mrs. Midge. We...
We thought he might like this.
Cheers, lads.
Is he all right?
Yeah. He just needs some sleep.
Mum, why don't you go and get a blanket?
I'll get the blanket.
We can...
We'll make a cup of tea, shall we?
Let me top you up. Cheers.
Congratulations.
Well, they have done one or two things for us before...
It's an enormous problem, don't you think?
But you see...
...what I'm getting at, is Bosnia.
You are from Bosnia, aren't you?
Yes, I thought so.
You see, here in Britain,
we're a mixed bag, too.
Twist or stick?
Twist?
But I don't think, Pero...
that experimental ideas like ethnic cleansing...
would catch on here.
Do you understand?
- Yeah, I know, I know... - You see what I mean?
Do you know when we last had a civil war in this country?
Four hundred years ago.
I do believe... that all sides...
in the conflict are equally guilty, don't you?
Nurse!
He started.
Fascist started first.
Speech!
Thank you. It's very kind of you.
It's lovely to see you all here today to join us...
for our very special day.
As you know, I am not the speechmaker of the family,
so, George... come along, darling.
One, two, three...
Happy birthday, Ismet!
For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow...
and so say all of us.
Long life to Chaos!
To Chaos!
- Wow! - Cool.
I can't... I can't take it.
What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can take it.
- No, no. You... - If you can't, I'll take it.
You... not rich man.
- Okay. - Oh, Jerry, I love you.
Right, song time.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream,
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream.
Would anyone like tea and biscuits?
Not now, Felicity. Go away. Go.
"Yes, it certainly was lovely out in the country.
Bathed in sunshine, stood an old manor house
with a deep moat 'round it. "
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come...
for me to let her go into orbit.
This...
bright...
charming young man over there is to be her husband.
Pero, let me take you by the hand.
And let me welcome you to the family.
Well done.
My pleasure.
I'm sorry. My English... not good.
My wife and me very happy.
Dad, will you take me fishing in Hawaii?
Of course, I will. Me, you, and Mummy
will go in a big boat, and fish all day long.
We've got to get to the airport, to go on a big plane.
I dunno where I'm going.
I have to tell you something.
I'm from Bosnia.
I've been in war.
I have been in war, and I have seen people killed.
I killed the people.
I killed the children and women.
They said, "Pero, go... kill, kill, Pero!"
Said, "Everyone kills. You, Pero, kill. "
I cut off now.
Pero... different. Come live with you here.
Look...
It's a gun!
I'm you now. Look at it.
Wait. Look...
I'm you now. Look.
Look, look, I wanna be you.
If life works out just a tiny bit in your favor,
it can be beautiful, just beautiful.
Snap!
Ripped by: SkyFury